Toddlers and bedtimes can be one of the first and the biggest power struggles that occur in young families. After all, one of the toddlers’ developmental tasks is learning to say “no”, and to begin actively asserting and communicating his own wants, wishes, and needs. For the parent, however, it can frustrating when the child uses this newly developing skill to refuse to sleep or stay in bed. After all, the parent has likely had a long and tiring day and needs the toddler in bed and asleep so he or she can get some rest too.
If your toddler is refusing to go to sleep, or to stay in bed, here are some tips you can use:
1) Make sure you aren’t putting your child to bed too early. Most toddlers need about 10 to 13 hours of sleep a night. Is he tired or irritable when he wakes up? If he is, then he needs more sleep. If he wakes up happy and alert, then he is getting the right amount of sleep. You may have to adjust your bedtime schedule to a half hour or an hour later in order to get your little one to sleep.
2) Establish a bedtime routine. Use a bath, a story time, and a short tuck in routine to help him unwind. Check to make sure the routine isn’t overly stimulating. For example, does he bathe with an older sibling who likes to play and romp in the tub? This might be too stimulating so late in the evening.
3) Learn your toddler’s cues. Don’t assume you know what will work best for your child at bedtime. Some children do best with a back rub and having mommy or daddy sit near them till they are asleep. Others will be too stimulated by the parent’s presence and need just a quick tuck in and then lights out and the parent leaves the room.
4) Is there another condition underlying the sleep problem? Do others in the genetic line have adhd? If so, your child may have this too and so will have more than normal trouble sleeping. Discuss this with your doctor. Remember, toddlers are active and have short attention spans so you don’t want to jump to conclusions, your doctor will help you determine if this is a possible factor.
5) Try to learn if your toddler is susceptible to nightmares. Watch him while he’s sleeping and see if there is a lot of body movement. If he’s going through a stage of having nightmares, he may be afraid to fall asleep but doesn’t have the verbal capacity to explain this to you. If you think nightmares are a factor, try more soothing activities at bedtime, such as a back rub and leaving a soft light on.
6) Give reminders that bedtime is coming. About 15 minutes before it’s time to start the bedtime routine, you can say “Time to get ready for bed in 15 minutes” then “Time to get ready for bed in 10 minutes” etc. Toddlers like predictability.
7) If you are sure the bed time isn’t too early for your child, stay consistent. Babies and toddlers have to learn to transition from one emotional state to another and sleep is part of that. They have to learn to fall asleep and to wake up just as they have to learn to walk and talk. They need a regular routine to enhance their ability to learn the tasks of bedtime.
8) Sing to your toddler or play a calming CD.
9) Keep the routine fairly short. The stories can be short, the song can be short, the back rub can be short. You don’t want to take the entire evening getting him ready.
10) If he keeps getting out of bed, you have to keep putting him back. This can test the most patient of parents, but it’s vital that you not let him develop this habit and that you put him back to bed gently but firmly each time he gets up. It may take a few nights of diligent focus to do this, but it will succeed.
If your toddler struggles with bed time and sleep, don’t despair. If you keep to a routine and use the strategies you will find that even the most sleep resistant toddler will learn to relax enough to fall asleep.
Article Source: http://www.bizymoms.com/expert-advice
Brenda McCreight PhD is a therapist, author, and consultant specializing in services for individuals and families dealing with challenges such as stress, depression, family relationships, life transitions and early childhood trauma. Brenda is the author of several books related to adoption as well as several fiction books which will soon be published on Smashwords. Check out her blog at www.theadoptioncounselor.com/Blog
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